Soap Opera at Clearwater Cove

December 27, 2011
Where to start. Well, we live in Clearwater Cove which is a huge apartment/condo complex here in Dun Laoghaire. I believe there are 100 units. Well, we were lucky enough to be put in the unit next to a real live Irish soap opera - complete with binge drinking, hot pink leggings, dog-custody wars and one-night stands. The insulation here is OK....but when you have a 22 year old girl with more drama than a bad reality TV show, then no walls are thick enough...
It started the week before Christmas. Leading up to this we've not been big fans of them because they smoke like chimneys which makes our entire apartment smell like their 'chimney', they come home at crazy hours of the night slamming their door (for good measure), and they only speak in insanely high volumes, apparently right next to their front door. And yes, yes we are senior citizens who like people to be silent after 8 pm, when Norah goes to bed. =) (If any of you readers have children, you know the sanctity that is 'the hours after your child has fallen asleep'. Anyone who threatens that peace is an enemy.) Henceforth, we hate our neighbor.

So, I'm home alone one day (when Wayne went to study at UCD) when I hear this couple screaming at each other in the hall. So, naturally, being the human that I am, I run to the peephole to watch. (I'm not insanely proud of this but it really is completely out of my control.)
Anyway, they're yelling at eachother about some nonsense and then they go back into their apartment and slam the door. (I wait at the peephole in case they come back out, but eventually I go back into the living room to my 18-month-old, playing by herself. Yes, that's good parenting).
To give you an idea for the logistics of this. Our apartment is at the end of the hall looking back at all the other doors down the hallway. So, this girl's unit is directly perpendicular to our door. So if someone is standing at her door, I look directly at the side of their face.
Which brings me to the next part...
Again, I hear them yelling and the sound of some rustling in the hallway. Back to the peephole I go. (by now I've gotten stealth reflexes which allow me to sprint to the peephole and get my face against the door, silently) I look out to see the boyfriend holding their tiny dog while she is trying to wrestle the dog away from him and block the door out to the elevator.
Neighbor girl: "You're not taking him!"
Boyfriend: "He's my dog!"
Neighbor girl: "You're being a psycho right now" (while jumping on his back to try and get the dog...go figure - HE'S the psycho.)
Boyfriend: "I'm taking him" (he gets around her and walks out the door to the elevator)
She goes in and slams the door.
yadda, yadda, yadda. I get bored and walk away.

A few minutes later I hear him back at the door and return to my post. So I'm looking out directly at his face. So sad....(on both our parts)
He's standing there, holding the dog in a cradle position, staring at her door. He keeps knocking but she's ignoring him now. Finally....she opens. He tries to look very pathetic (not hard) and say "You can keep him"
She says, "I don't want him. You keep him"
Boy: "Why?"
Ohhh barf. I then realize how young they really are and walk away. I can still hear the interchange though.
"I would never put him out on the balcony in the cold"
"I didn't"
"Yes you did"
"It was just for a second so he could pee"
"I wouldn't. Ever. Not even for a second."

Barf.

(He goes into the apartment, they yell most of the afternoon and lo and behold, the next morning, we hear him leave the apartment. Yes, I DID run to the peephole when I heard the door open at 8 am.)

Apparently everything is back on.... NOT.

Fast forward one day. 10 pm - we hear her cackling with a few girlfriends - plainly drinking and talking about the break up with the boyfriend. (Of course, Norah is sleeping so we're pissed that this girl is threatening to wake her up with every second of their drunken, inane conversation)
10:30 pm rolls around and I've run to the peephole because I hear them coming out. Yep, there it is. Three 21/22 year old girls, skanked out to "the nines" with platform heels, (the main girl is wearing HOT PINK spandex leggings with FIVE inch heels!), fur coats and "bump it's" in their hair. I knnooow where they're going......Clubbin'. This was just the pre-funk. It's rebound time ladies.
They stand in the hall for a few minutes, one girl literally chugging on a fifth of some liquor and the other two fumbling to lock the door. Off they go.

We fall asleep about 10 minutes later. Old folks. But of course, 3 am rolls around and I hear people talking in the hall. How do I know it's 3 am? Oh because I just tap my very flashy Indigo Timex watch and blammmo, 3 am. Anywho, we both wake up and hear this girl at her door talking to some real catch she's bringing home from the bar.

Bar "Catch": "Are you suuure you don't have a boyfriend?"
Neighbor Girl: "Oh, look at you, a nice guy eh?"

(We pass back out)

In the morning I leave to run some errands and what do I see? A nice little "Hansel and Gretel" trail of potato chips leading to the drunken girl's apartment. There's two chips, smashed into the carpet just outside her door. Oh here's 3 more over by the door to the elevator. Ahhh, 3 more crushed on the floor IN the elevator and down in the lobby, yep, there's the rest. Did they actually EAT any? (I really comtemplated picking them all up and putting them in front of her door with a note that said "You dropped these" but Wayne forbade it...Good man.) I just felt so bad for the cleaning crew that had to clean up after her, which they did, that afternoon.

Anyway, this is all we have thus far but I'm sure this girl will give us much more material. Ahh to be 21 and completely self-absorbed again....