Reflection on First Month and Norah-speak

I suppose I'll start with some cuteness from our little one, Norah - 18 months.

                                                                                (in rare form)

Here are some recent 'whammies' from Norah. She continues to blow us away with her comprehension of English. I've tried to write these down as she says them because I know I won't want to forget these.

• Norah received a book from her Auntie Trysh for her first birthday - one of those adorable personalized books that has Norah's name throughout, and names of her family members. Well, it goes through each person - "Who loves Norah? Auntie Trysh loves Norah? - How much? Sooo much" (and she always says this part with us)
  Well she also likes to play 'bus driver' under one of our tables and pretends the table is her bus. She'll have Daddy give her pennies ("monies" to Norah), for fare.
  So he'll say: "Where should we go bus driver?"
  Norah: "Kilmaino" (Kilmainham Gaol - it's a whole 'nother issue that she's obsessed with a prison)
  Wayne: "Ok, bus driver. I have this many monies. How much to go to Kilmainham?"
  Norah: "Sooo much"
  (Us: giggling uncontrollably)
• Last week we received our Christmas card from our friends Joe and Haruko and their new baby, Mika. Norah is obsessed with baby Mika (and all of her baby friends). She knows each one by name and always asks to look at their pictures. Well, one day we were looking at the card and I put it back up on the mantle. Then Norah says,
  "I wanna look at more peetures uh baby Mika mommy" (hollllyyy crrap! That's about 10 words...it borders on creepy how much she speaks sometimes. We constantly just stare at eachother and say - "did you HEAR that?")
• Today, January 4th, Wayne was cooking breakfast for us (love him) and Norah walks into the kitchen.
  Norah: "Daddy making pancakes"
  Wayne (sort of teasing her): "How did you know I was making pancakes Norah?"
  Norah: "I know Daddy making pancakes" (with the most serious look on her face as if to say "I KNOW what's going on here")
• When Norah wakes up from her nap we always ask:
  "Norah, did you have a good nap?"
  Norah: "Yea"
  Mom: "What did you dream about?"
  Norah: "Puppies"
  Mom: "Really? What color were they?"
  Norah: "Pink. Pink Puppies. Sooo many puppies"
  
  Or some little daily gems:
• "Daddy come play with Nowah in Nowah's house" (a blanket on the floor)
• "Mommy GET Offa Dare!" (sadly, talking about me, on the iPad......so shame-filled)

She's obviously the brightest little light in our lives. And, perhaps more obvious, is the fact that we're very proud of this little person we've been blessed to receive.

REFLECTION ON FIRST MONTH:

Well, as of January 2nd, we have been here for one month. I thought it might be time for me to write a little bit about how we're actually doing with this whole transition. I've written about 40 posts on what we're doing and what we're seeing but nothing yet about how we're doing.

As I was telling my sister Mimi, I think the first bit is really a whirlwind because you're so caught up in the new-ness and, what I've deemed, "the nesting process". I've never done this before so perhaps many of you have experience with this and know it well. When you move somewhere complllletely new, with none of your belongings (save a few suitcases), you have to start from scratch. You have to buy bread, salt and pepper, peanut butter, a can opener, towels, soap, pillows, a hair dryer, pots, spatulas, oven mitts, etc. etc. etc. etc. It goes on and on. Truly. We've been here one month and I'm still not done. What makes it ten times more time-consuming and difficult is that we don't have a car so this all has to be done on individual trips to and from stores. Usually we take the stroller with us, not for Norah, but as our luggage cart.

This is not to say we haven't loved not having a car - it's just more work. It's sort of liberating, if that's the right description, to know that you need to do everything on your own. You have to plan things much better and you can't be lazy (which I think I fundamentally am).

Anyway, I'm getting off track - all of this is to say, the "nesting process" has taken up most of my mental space, up until now. It's still there, as we're not done yet, but I can feel the reality of what we're doing, starting to sink in. I'm starting to reallllly miss the accessibility to my friends and family. I may not have called people all that often but I had the option to, and now that's gone. It's just us. Every day. All day. Gloria and Wayne. Wayne and Gloria. Gloria and Norah. Wayne, Gloria, Norah. The combinations are not endless - in fact, I think we may have reached the end. =) I love my little family - I truly do - but after ELEVEN weeks of being together all day, every day, I think I need some other humans in my life. I guess I'm just realizing the value of having a social circle, or even just a car. 

(Also, I'm so incredibly thankful for things like: this blog, facebook, and Skype. Things I actively hated before leaving Seattle - now I understand the power of their purpose. They allow me to be connected to home in a way I never needed to be, before.)

 

I think we are just reaching that odd limbo-space where we don't know what we are supposed to be doing. We're not on vacation, we're not working, Wayne's not yet in school and we've been together for a lonnnng time.

We left Seattle on November 21, 2011.

Before that, Wayne stopped working at his main position on October 31st, and the private practice on November 15th. (and we had moved out of our home on September 30th, 2011 for our friends to move into our condo)

Then we spent 10 days in Ontario with family.

Arrived in Dublin on December 2nd.

(so living out of suitcases for two and a half months - 10 weeks)

Now it is January 4th, 2011 and we've been here for four weeks.

Wayne starts his class on January 19th (which will be once per week) and then.....what? What will I do? That's the big thing weighing on me this week.

It's just hit me that we're not on vacation, and this is for the long haul. So what am I supposed to do? I'm not allowed to work - they stamped that into my passport. Although, maybe, just maybe, I could find something under-the-table but even then - would it justify the $2000 or more a month it would cost for childcare?

I desperately need something to keep my brain alive. :) I feel like I have invested a great deal of time (and money) in my mind and while I love that I've had the opportunity to be home with Norah for 18 precious months, I'm reaching that point where I feel like my brain is beginning to atrophy. Of course, I'm trying to keep in mind that this feeling is creeping in at the same time that I've gone through one of, if not the, biggest transitions of my life. That's enough to throw you for a loop but I also want to listen to my need for something stimulating for my own mind.

I have so much respect for mom's who are able to be home with not only one, but two, or three children, and to feel at peace with that. I so wish I had that conviction - that I just knew - this is where I'm supposed to be and this is what I'm meant to be doing. It's just that I have this nagging feeling that I'd also like to be doing something else. For one, I want to keep my mind engaged but another big reason is that it would make me feel good to earn something for our family. To go out and do something that gives me meaning but also helps us along. (and helps us to repay our huge debts, faster)

I suppose my dream for being here in Ireland is that I could find a circle of friends, a 20 hour a week position doing, anything really, and that Norah could have a play-school/pre-school community that we could afford and that stimulates her huge brain. =)

So far I have zero of those things but I'll try to be patient. It's been one month.

And thus far, I've contacted a couple Mommy-baby groups here and hope to go to some of those. I also signed up yesterday for a running group in Dublin (it's really informal and they send you emails when they go for a run) and I've been reading a lot. (Sidenote: I started and finished the 1200 page, Hunger Games trilogy, in four days. If you haven't read it, find it. Immediately.) 

So, here's to one month in Dublin! Thank you for reading (I suppose if no one reads this you won't get to this part anyway so it's no big deal if I thank imaginary readers, for reading.)