On Friday September 14, 2012, this world lost an incredible man - a father of six amazing people, a grandfather to ten (now adults), and a great-grandfather to three little angels. Opa (Jack) Dykstra was married to Oma (Sadie) Dykstra for nearly 60 years! The two of them were, are, the pillars of the Dykstra family - and a FAMILY they truly are. I have learned so much from this huge group of Dykstras - about what it means to be a true family - about real, honest "Family Values" (now such a buzz-term), but it is a real thing. And Opa and Oma Dykstra are solely responsible for creating that, for cultivating that for nearly 60 years and for instilling it in every single one of their children, grandchildren (and now great-grandchildren). This is no small feat and now that I have a child of my own, I understand what it meant for them to raise six children of their own, with so little, and yet they did so with such grace. They raised all six children in the house they still shared up until this weekend - a sweet little house which cannot be more than 1200 square feet. Six children! If we could all learn a tiny bit from them, this world would be a simpler, more peaceful place.
They knew three things: They loved eachother, they loved their children and they loved God. These three tiny sentiments truly led Opa's life. He was a patriarch in the true sense of the word and I'm so amazed, looking at the family he created. I feel so blessed to have one of his great-grandchildren - our little Norah Dykstra - who will carry on his name. And if we are so blessed as to have a son, he will carry his name, on and on. I feel some comfort in that - knowing our children have a little piece of him and will carry that on in their lives. It's important to know where your name comes from and in the case of my newly acquired last name (3 years now), and Norah's, we carry something pretty powerful. This man created a true legacy.
When we moved to Ireland and I started this blog, to my surprise, 79-year-old Opa became one of my most loyal and dedicated readers. I don't know how he even figured out how to find the blog (given that most of my friends and family swear they "can't figure it out") but he did, and he read it nearly daily. I would sometimes get a phone call from Wayne's mom, "Are you ok? Opa just read your blog and wanted to make sure you're doing ok. He said you sounded sad". Or, "Opa says you haven't done a blog in a few days, he wants to know what's up?" I found such comfort in knowing he read it and felt so proud that he kept up with what we were doing. I start crying again when I realize you won't read this post and that you're not waiting there at your computer to see it.
Despite moving from Holland at the age of 18, completely on his own, Opa always kept in touch with his siblings back in Holland. He would call, every single week, and check in with his brother there in Holland. I loved being over at their house to hear him call and chat in Dutch to his brother. This is just one more example of how dedicated Opa was - he loved his family and he took the responsibility of being family, very seriously. So, despite the distance, he made the call each week and he kept up his end of the bargain. I so admire him for this.
Oma and Opa and their SIX Children: Rick, Roger, Rosie, Jeph, Betty and Renata
Opa and Oma (and nearly the entire family from Ontario and B.C.) flew all the way to Seattle for our wedding. We will never ever forget that. I still find it hard to believe, when I look back on that day, that all three of Wayne's grandparents made the huge journey from Ontario just to be there for our day. (And I had my grandmother, Gloria, there as well) That's no small trip when you're in your late 70s and they did it, with no hesitation.
Oma and Opa with 2 of their 3 great-grandchildren (Norah and Judah)
Look at that smile.
Such pride in looking at his Great-Grand Child.
I love this picture. This was after Opa's last concert with the Men's Choir, after 40 years (!!) and I couldn't be more proud to have been there.
Opa's greatest passion, beside his family and his faith, was being Choir Director. (See Wayne's Dad, playing Organ- also his partner in the choirs for forty years!) Everyone loves remembering that Opa's voice was so powerful that, despite directing the choir and facing away from the audience, his was the voice you heard above all others. He had a strength in his singing that pulled your attention and you could not help but notice. It was a beautiful thing to witness - Opa Dykstra directing a choir.
And boy did he have rhythm - if you watch a couple times, you'll see him do his signature "wiggle" while he's directing. It's like he could feel every single note.
On his last evening, when Opa said to his children and his wife "you have to keep everything going" - this is what he meant. His family, being together - especially on Sundays after church. The tradition is to go to Oma and Opa's house or to Wayne's parents' for coffee, lunch, (and even a couple drinks I learned when I first met them all). =) I love this tradition and there is no doubt, Opa, this will go on. What you created is stronger than you could ever know.
You will be sorely missed. Whenever I think of the fact that I won't hear your voice again or hug you when you come up the stairs at Rick and Wilma's, I start to cry again. Wayne and I keep remembering how you'd always say "Heya Hun!" in your bellowing voice, when I would walk in the room (or, especially, this last month when you saw Norah). I don't ever want to forget the sound of that.
I will follow the example of Mom and Dad Dykstra and the rest of your children and find peace in the faith that you are freed from the pain you endured this last year, that you are with your family members and that you will not ever leave us.
